I'm Still Drawn To You

Written By Audrey Assad - November 14 2016


April 25 2017

How, if we love Jesus, can we continue to fail Him, to choose the other (whatever it is)? Why does he love us? Me?

I have always thought this was my thorn. In my “good” moments, I was grateful for it, because it drove me to Him. In my more numerous doubting moments, I would spiral into a quiet and lonely despair.

I don’t know where I am in this right now. The doubt and the self-castigation persist. But something else persists too. Someone else. He keeps pursuing. He keeps loving.

I don’t get it, don’t know if I ever will. But He is there. I keep looking for the boundaries of His grace, terrified that I’ve crossed into the wilderness again. But still He chases after me, whispering my name, reliably constant in stoking the gravity pulling me to Him, mess that I am.

Thank you for this. A friend told me about you not long ago, but I didn’t pursue. A sermon at the right moment encouraged me to abandon my search for intellectual answers and just worship for a time. You came to mind, and I found Inheritance just last week. I just read your blog on Inheritance today, and then read the above. Thank you for sharing your faith and your journey. You are a wonderful encouragement.

November 19 2016

Girl, I’ve been hearing about you from my friends. They all keep telling me to listen to your music. And I’ve heard a couple of your songs, and I loved them. But today I read some of your posts…this one, Be Thou My Vision, and one from your tumblr blog explaining why you were doing a hymns album…preaching to yourself. I just gotta say it’s been like looking into a mirror. Your words are so validating to me that I feel tears in my heart…the kind that say, “You, too?” And then that little-less-alone feeling. So, keep on writing and keep on singing and I’ll be reading and listening. And I’m coming to worship with you and a whole bunch of fabulous folks at OneThing!

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